I wanted to write a quick few words to say thank you and to maybe inspire a few more people to be honest and open about their situations in life.
I’m a very open person, yes there are things I keep private and I don’t share every detail or thought or emotion on this blog. However, I’m a big believer in the more honest you are with yourself and the people around you – the happier you will be as you won’t be trying to keep a tally of who you have and haven’t told, or pretending to be someone who you are not.
Earlier this year, I made it public via Facebook that I was dealing with depression and anxiety and had been dealing with this for a very long time. Unfortunately, things reached a peak this year after bullying in the workplace, my relationship broke up, my dog dying and the loss of a dear friend who I hadn’t made the time for since school. I was at breaking point and didn’t want to fight anymore.
Life is a bitch a lot.. One day I’ll write a book about the struggles I’ve been through in a hope that more people can relate and will have the confidence to understand that life goes on regardless of what happens when you’re a child, teen or adult. We all face struggles on a daily basis and yes, sometimes things are almost unbearable and it is beyond understanding how we will ever get through.
When I reached this point, I started writing again.. Writing was a way for me to get things out in the world and feel as though my mind and trapped thoughts were free. I don’t share a lot of my darker, deeper thoughts as quite frankly, they might make me seem like Batman (I am kinda super awesome like him).
But writing is a way to see the lighter things in life too – I always try to make fun of myself and point out my flaws because I was so sick of running from them or trying to change myself to fit into society’s standards. I am socially awkward, I over complicate things, I think way too much and I am a romantic who always sees the best in people and gets excited even over a simple smiley face.
The truth is, I love who I have discovered in this last year. It has by far been the hardest time of my adult life but it has also taught me that I am strong, that I am loved and that I am capable of being a good person.
The best part is, with my writing, I never knew other people actually ever read it or enjoyed it. With you reading this, it means more to me than you will ever know. So I wanted to say thank you for taking this journey with me and for giving me hope to keep doing something I absolutely love.
More importantly, I wanted to say thank you to those who have come forward and told me what my writing means to them and how I have helped. Your words have touched me to my core. It hurts me to know that there are these beautiful people who are also feeling the horrible wrath of depression, but it brings me so much joy knowing that my words have helped you in one way or another.
In closing, never be afraid to be yourself. The people around you will either love you regardless, learn to love you or leave. I have the most beautiful people surrounding me and in my heart on a daily basis and I would not have gotten this far without them. So remember, you are never alone – life can suck big dirty balls, but it can also be pretty amazing if you let it
“Hey, u probably don’t remember me from school but I was a couple of grades below u, and I just wanted to say that I have been going through severe anxiety and depression for as long as i can remember and until I read some of ur posts I never had the strength to get help, even from the people closest to me, so I guess I just wanted to say thanks”
“There have been a few times I’ve wanted to say this but never have… I usually backspace it all because I don’t want to come across as a stalky creeper and I’m also not sure if I’m ready for anyone else to know about my mental health issues… but I guess the reason I’m finally telling you is because I think that maybe you would want to know, and because I’ve been wanting to thank you for a while.
Back when you used to write notes frequently I really enjoyed reading them and being able to see how you view the world. Long story short, your words helped me to recognise the parts of myself I suppressed… you were one of the first people who helped me to analytically question what my brain was telling me and in the end put myself on track to work towards a happier/healthier mindset. So, even though you didn’t know it, you helped me, a lot. Thank you.
I’m glad you’re going to make an effort to write again. While you should only ever write for yourself.. Know that there are people who benefit from your openness/bravery, when you don’t even realise it.”