The Other Side of The Story

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On Facebook I recently shared an article, ’23 Things To Do Instead of Getting Engaged Before You’re 23′ and I quite honestly could agree with quite a few things mentioned in the article.  I don’t think the article is meant to be taken very seriously, and if it is – I really question (a) how many friends this woman has and (b) if all these friends are much much younger than her.  The reality of the situation is, at the age of 23 many people are getting engaged, married or having babies and you can’t just ‘unfriend’ these people for doing so, or judge them because their life goals and choices may be different to your own.  

A week after posting this article, a person I have a lot of respect for (who is younger than 23 and engaged) reposted the article stating how much it upset her because at the end of the day, everyone’s circumstances are different and not everyone who gets engaged under the age of 23 is doing it because they are ‘rushing in’ or because ‘it’s the thing to do’.  I think she is very brave to post this along with very strong points supporting her argument, on Facebook, more so than me posting it originally… why? well because these days, it’s so much easier for people to sit their and criticize love, youth and marriage than to accept that it might actually happen and some people just are lucky and work hard to have quality relationships at such a young age. 

I know I’m terrible at it and it got me thinking that I would really hate for everyone who reads this blog, knows me personally or has me on Facebook, to think that I am on the bandwagon.  Yes, I do spend days upon days judging those ‘in love’ and having ten babies at the age of 18, but most of the time it’s based on insecurities and honestly is not meant to be taken seriously. 

 

We used to live in a society where being in love and getting married was the be all and end all of a women’s life. A wedding day was the climax of a young womans life, and everything that followed was to be matrimonial bliss.  Today, we live in a society where ‘feminism’ (don’t get me started) has overrun the world in most instances, and women who get married young, have children young and stay faithful to a man while running the domestic household, are criticized, called weak and pathetic. 

 

I’m sorry – but lets just take a step back and discuss where men sit in this picture – oh that’s right, they don’t.. 9/10 men actually don’t care what a woman decides to do with their life as long as she is loving, happy, supportive and enjoys what ever it is she has decided to do.  

Feminism and those who fight in the name of it these days are usually the most sexist people out there either against their own gender when the group of women they choose to chastise don’t have the same life goals, or against men.  They don’t expect women to have traditional gender roles, but take them on a date and you’ll often hear, “I’m not buying my own dinner on a date – that’s a mans job…” 

Women spend so much time bashing other women and putting other women down in the name of ‘feminism’ that they forget we are all just human beings with vaginas and feelings and should just be damn grateful that these days we can CHOOSE The lifestyle we lead and won’t get stoned to death for having sex outside of marriage.  Because sex is pretty great if you ask me… 

I could spend hours upon hours writing about this, but at the end of the day – I just want one thing to be clear – the decisions and choices you make in life are yours and yours alone.  Yes, they may effect other people and murder is never a good choice to make.

However, at the end of the day, maturity isn’t based on how successful you are in your career or how successful your household and marriage is.  In my eyes, maturity is being able to look at things from both sides of the story and being able to make an informed decision – and always accepting that your decision may change as you meet new and different people.  Maturity isn’t grouping people into one stereotype because of their age, gender, relationship status or socio economic background. 

It is always so much easier to judge someone, than to understand and accept their views and choices. At the end of the day, their choice is theirs – they will have to deal with… NOT YOU 

 

[I am sorry if I have offended anyone with previous posts in regards to being happy and single and rah rah rah.. I am a massive believer in making the most of every situation, so single or in a relationship – I will try to be happy and try to see the light in.  One day, I hope I fall madly in love, be it man or woman, and have that person for the rest of my life.  Right now, that person isn’t here so I will continue to see the light in the situation and better myself and do the things I want to do.  However, when that person comes along, I don’t intend to suddenly stop being myself or give up my ambitions or goals – that person will either accept them and continue to grow as a person themselves and with me, or they will have their mouth sewn shut so they learn to not disagree with me..] 

 

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2 thoughts on “The Other Side of The Story

  1. I don’t think you should apologise for wanting to live a life in your 20s. Yes, women who are engaged at 23 are in a different circumstance but they are also not allowed to pass judgements at those who are aspirational and don’t put marriage as their number one. Don’t apologise for those who did get offended, because you know what – somewhere in their heart, they are offended because of guilt and denial of never being able to see or come back to what they could have had. Yes, if marriage and babies are their number one – suit yourself, I will attend the wedding, but just as we aren’t allowed to judge their life’s priorities, they aren’t allowed to critique mine. x

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