Wedding Etiquette 101

Standard

Yesterday I had the absolute honor of watching my little cousin get married to an incredible guy who makes her shine like no one else can.

While I shed a few tears, I spent most of the time smiling and laughing.

However, then came the reception.
I have been to a few weddings in my time, and while I admit I am great entertainment, I was THAT token drunk relative at the wedding yesterday.

Here’s just a few things I did:

– fed a minor much too much alcohol
– made a drunk speech that involved racism about the groom and his family
– made out with a groomsman … He had a beard ok ? I couldn’t resist !
– spilt a bit of my red wine on the dance floor and exclaimed “oh there’s my abortion” …
– continued to show people my abortion on the dance floor
– hit on the cute bartender then insulted him by putting down his choice of career
– fed more alcohol to a minor
– spent an hour in the bathroom crying on the phone to my best friend
– twerked
– got in a taxi and promptly passed out on my drunk little underage sisters lap

All in all apparently it was a good night …

Apparently

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