As a girl growing up in the nineties, I was thrown into believing that being a working professional was the new norm…
I remember watching Ally McBeal and admiring her work ethic and strength as a woman. While her love life weened and males seemed to come in and out of her life leaving her heartbroken, she stood in the courtroom like an infallible golden idol.
My parents continuous break ups and messed up marriage made me determined that I would never focus on relationships, as they were too risky and troublesome, but to focus on getting good grades through school, learning as much as I could about the world and securing a uni degree and a career that required no reliance on a man.
As a young girl, my nanna told me that a woman’s place is by her husbands side. Keeping your husband and your family happy and maintaining a healthy image was what was most important as a woman.
As a teenager, I fell madly and deeply in love and all of a sudden my desire to stay single to focus on a career was thrown out the window. I wanted love. Pure, deep love but I wanted to remain independent – I didn’t want to rely on a man for more than affection because I wanted to prove I was capable of looking after myself and of forging my name into the history books as a standout female in whatever field I chose to specialise in.
As a teenager, I was told that I would learn to love providing for a male. That as time went by the urge to live my own life would subside and my main priority would be to live my life for those around me.
As a young adult, I found myself craving nothing more than quitting work to become a mother and raise a healthy bunch of children who bore his dark hair and blue eyes. I was ready to build a nest. I craved a reason to keep putting up with the constant fights and arguments. I begged for the universe to deliver what I wanted so someone, a child, would love me unconditionally.
As a young adult I was continuously told how lucky I was to have a career, to have freedom and passion to follow as all these things disappear the minute you have a family.
As a woman, I am tired of feeling as though I have to choose between wanting a career and wanting a family.
As a woman, I want to love unconditionally with all of my heart both my family, my partner and my career and not feel guilty for equally dividing my attention, wants or desires.
What any woman decides to do with her life is entirely in her hands. I am sick of seeing criticism of females who decide to be stay at home mums for “erasing hundreds of years of woman’s rights activism”. I am also sick of seeing criticism of females who decide not to bear children for not fulfilling their “sole duty as a female”.
Instead of teaching generations of young girls what is “acceptable” as a woman at different ages, it is time to accept that as a woman at any age, you have freedom of choice.
What you choose to do, is entirely up to you.