To Be


There’s a part of me that wants to pull away
That wants to say goodbye to the world as I know it.

No i don’t mean forever… I mean for a while… until this all blows over and until everyone reaches the age I’m mentally at already

When I was child I used to cry and cry and cry.

I would scream at my dad

I would blame him for my mind.

I always knew I learnt things alot sooner before anyone else
I knew I was different
That my mind thought too much and my words flowed more than they should have

All i wanted was to be simple
To be like every other child

I didn’t want to be under a school desk in Grade 5 having a mental break down because I had to go back to my mothers.

I wanted to be happy, to be careless, to be free.

I had responsibility since the day I was born, to look after those around me.

To see what others couldn’t and to realise the truth before anyone else did.
I hate it.

I want to be naive.
I want to hide and run away until everyone I care about understands where I am coming from.

I know that wil never happen… but I get lonely.

I get lonely in my thoughts and words.

Regardless of those who tell me I’m right and wise beyond my years…
I want to be normal. I want to be my age.

Naive, simple and pure.


2 thoughts on “To Be

  1. This is very powerful and I relate to it. It’s been a long time coming but I feel like I’m slowly arriving at the age that I’ve been all of my life. We’re old souls in young bodies. Thank you for sharing this.

    • Thank you for reading and for the comment. I feel as though now that I’ve rid my life of some people, I’m starting to notice and let in a lot of like minded ‘old souls’ and it’s amazing how much of a difference it makes. It makes me feel like i’m not crazy !

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